by Dennis Gill, Staff
His head was swirling really badly, probably because of the hangover. It had been two complete days, that he had been drinking without a proper meal. All the thoughts of past few days were coming back to him. The heated argument with his manger, the comments of his colleagues, the quarrel with the neighbors." Let me get a quarter", he thought, " and then I'll go and eat something".
He got up from his bed, wore his slippers, went to the door of his room and opened it. And just then his head started spinning all the more and it seemed he would fall down. He closed the door and came to his bed-side. He was sweating really badly. As if he was a tank; full of perspiration and the tap of the tank had been opened completely.
He started feeling really uncomfortable. It was pretty cold outside; as it was the winter season, but he was sweating like anything. He opened his sweater and then his shirt and then the T-shirt, that he was wearing underneath it. He was not being able to stand on his feet anymore and fell; face on; on his bed. It seemed to him that his end had come. Small small dots of light were floating around his head and it seemed that he was going into an unknow nothingness. He started chanting Lord Rama's name in his mind; like he always used to whenever he was in trouble; but it seemed to him that; that was not helping.
He had to do something, he thought, but what? that was the question. His Didi ( his elder sister, elder sister in India is to referred to as Didi, to give her respect) and everyone else would get to know that he died because of excessive drinking. He couldn't die like that. He tried to re-collect his senses and tried to focus on what was happening. Every second seemed longer than an hour. He purposely tried to breathe properly, fearing that he might loose his breath. But probably God wasn't upset with him enough to take his life that day, and after few minutes; which seemed like hours put together; he started feeling a bit better.
Dennis was his name and although he was a nice, decent and well behaved boy, but was almost always; and mostly unknowingly; involved in some menace or the other. And on this fine day of December he was reading a article about meditation and awakening of mind/soul. He felt that he was understanding and getting everything written in it, but at the same time he seemed very confused as well. He had read quite a few books of Osho and had heard him talk, on various topics of spiritualism and had got lot of download from his Dad as well; on spirituality; but somehow this article was confusing him a lot. The article talked about not clinging to thought, as that is the sole reason for one's problems in life.
It also talked about just being a witness to everything that happens and not to attach one's self to neither any situation or person. It was same as what Osho has talked about in his books and same as what Lord Krishna had said in Geeta. But the thought about not clinging to any thought, is that not a thought again. And following that thought, is that not also clinging to a thought. He stopped reading, put fingers of both his hands through his already ruffled hair and with his elbows on the table, sat in his, like he had lost everything that he had. A lot was going through his head. Sales had not been happening for him, he had begun to feel uncomfortable at his job, he had spoiled his health, his fitness. But then he thought, that he was never fully fit, when he was actively into cricket and other games. He thought about his schools days, when he used to get; unanimously chosen every year, to open for his House's cricket team. A smile came on his face. It used to be difficult to open the innings, on a pitch that used to have a mat on it; and that too with a new ball.
One had to forget everything and had to just focus on the ball, on that very moment. " But, wait a minute", he said to himself. "Isn't that what that article also said?" To forget about the past and the future and to just focus on the present moment. To concentrate on the work at hand, and to be here and now. His confusion was beginning to go away now. So that is what that article actually meant, by not clinging to thoughts.It is same as the focus of a batsman, in cricket. When one goes to bat, lot of thoughts; unknowingly and unwantingly; come in his mind. But the batsman's job is to, not pay attention to any of them, and to just focus on the ball that he faces.
Just focus on the ball and then the mind gets used automatically. If it would be a short length ball, the body ( which becomes the mind itself) would automatically go back, and would make room for the appropriate shot to be played. And if it would be a full length ball, then it would take a step; out of the crease; and would drive it. So the mind certainly has a use, but using it when it is not required naturally( i.e. when it is not required while performing the work at hand), then it becomes the cause of all sorrows or happiness, as both are states of mind only and are result of unnecessary use of mind( " Oh! it had always been that easy and stupid Dennis couldn't understand it). And what is mind by the way? Like Osho says, it is nothing but a collection of thoughts. If there are no thoughts, it would loose its identity. And even if thoughts are there (because its pretty natural to have them), but one does not cling to them or does not follow them, then the mind looses its effectiveness to affect one adversely.
So that is all that we have to do then, live life like the innings of a batsman in cricket. Like he builds his innings by focusing and by being aware; whenever a ball is thrown towards him.
We should also also live life moment by moment, and by focusing and by being aware during each moment. By living here and now, in the present moment. Oh! its all so easy.
This article (Awakening from Sleep) was originally created and published by RiseEarth and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Dennis Gill and RiseEarth.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this copyright statement.