How to Handle the Awakening

by Zen Gardner

I received the following comment on an article on my website. It sparked several thoughts as to what happens when we wake up and have to deal with the ensuing repercussions, both spiritually as well as in our personal interaction with our immediate circumstances.

Zen, I am continually refreshed by the content of this site, thank you for providing the “soul-food” I need. I have a question for you or the group. I feel like I am trapped in my “lower level” of self. I recognize the actions, and some of the triggers, but despite this, I plow ahead like a stubborn bull repeating the same behaviors. How do I break the cycle? I realize it is different for all individuals, but any direction would be appreciated and most helpful. I have a strong inclination that I am an agent of change, but I also know I must conquer the base first. Much love.

My response:

Hi J. Here’s something encouraging for you. The fact that you are observing yourself shows you are profoundly awake. This separation between the programmed old self and the conscious true self happens over a period of time as you learn to identify, and operate from, the conscious self, which then permeates your behavior one conscious decision at a time.

This is the struggle people go through who have this awakening, and there are a lot of implications to it that sometimes bring on conflicts with the conditions we’ve gathered around us from our previous unconscious life. The beauty is that they peel off as we continue our heart felt pursuit of truth and activate according to what we’re newly learning. That’s why I talk about this so much – it’s a dynamic that simply awaits activating. We just have to be willing to pay the price of letting go.

I know it sounds simplistic, but it really is that simple. The repercussions are usually pretty dramatic, which shouldn’t surprise us as we’ve virtually found out we’re operating between conflicting worlds, basically illusion vs reality. Nothing we were prepared for by any means.

Stand strong and watch things change around you. That’s what happens. Stay the observer, and operate from that viewpoint and perspective. You’ll find your way one conscious step at a time.

Much love and keep on.. – Z
Finding Our Way Back Home

It’s not complicated, as life regularly teaches us by its simple illustrations. It’s we who have been separated from these fundamental, simple truths, by ourselves as well as the ignorant and often manipulative influences of others. Now we need to find our way back home.

This takes trusting newly aroused sensations and instincts that were laying dormant within us.

What each of us experiences is awakening in its most fundamental sense. Information begins to take on new dimensions with a clear interpretation and which continues to rock our world, but rock our world it must to get things back into a conscious perspective.

When we finally begin to taste that place of true freedom of thought and personal autonomy it is a wondrous experience. Disconcerting, to say the least, but liberating and oh so exhilarating. We just know it’s right. But to look around for confirmations of our new found convictions of this clear personal experience is a mistake – it’s bound to disappoint, save finding others like yourself with whom we can relate, which may be few and far between at first.

That’s OK, as this is part of our development. We lacked courage in our previous existence, and this teaches us how to hold fast to and develop the courage of our convictions, without which we’ll wither and die on the vine like so many others given this precious opportunity. Think of the butterfly coming out of its chrysalis and how the struggle is essential to driving the circulatory system to enable it’s newly manifesting wings.

It’s the perfect metaphor.

Oh the True Friends You’ll Find!

One of the most marvelous results of fighting through this transformation, besides the personal discovery and empowerment, is those you soon meet on the same path and wavelength! The dearest friends of my life, I now count dear brothers and sisters to me, soon emerged as I continued my ecstatic journey.
I became active, communicated wildly, and searched the information field like an awestricken new born cub in a brand new world, and sure enough, there were many others just like myself going through the very same experience.

Not only that, the words and teachings of the sages of the ages came alive. I’d been a student searching for these truths all of my life but suddenly there was newborn life in their words. Everything erupted!

It may not be this dramatic for everyone but it was for me. After a life long search for truth and meaning and purpose in life I’d finally found the key. I don’t know what brought it on exactly as it was a culmination of a life long quest, but it happened. Learning what to do with it was next.

But finding others on the same divine mission? Priceless.


The awakening is obviously a very personal experience. There’s no formula for it, just the sincere hunger for truth, real truth. That we can share experiences and insights as to our personal experiences in such depth at lighting speed in a world on a collision course to who knows what is a very special gift, and I would add essential tool we need to utilize to the max.

That’s what drives me. For me it’s a personal calling. But we each have one, and it’s ours to find it and fulfill it with everything in us. That is truly awakening.

To be shown truth is one thing; to respond to it is another.

It’s all in the response. If you want my two cents, therein is the key to the real awakening in all its glory.

Much love always,

Keep on keeping on, no matter what…


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  1. Oddly Ive found the most insightful discussions with my clients...people suffering with mental dis-eases. Hmm....I see our biggest dis-ease is BEing human.

  2. Thank you ZenGardner for posting this. I struggle with this journey to 'find my way home.,' on top of anxiety and ptsd and was feeling that I was going nowhere and at times, like I had bitten off more than I could chew due to the emotions that would come up. Your article helped me too and has given me newfound hope and courage to continue along this path. Many thanks!