In this short teaching I’ll reveal the three fundamental lies that stop you from living a life filled with love.
The Taoist Teaching on Love
I received this teaching from the Taoist masters in the sacred Wudang Mountains of China. It’s many thousands of years old and yet it still holds true for humanity today and strongly resonates with the clients I work with on a daily basis at Peak House Practice, some of whom come to me suffering with among other things: stress, anxiety, hopelessness, lack of confidence or relationship difficulties.
Love is your natural state of being. Love is the energy that is all around you. It is the vibration and essence of every part of the Cosmos and every living thing. The Taoists refer to this energy as Qi.
So what stops you from living in this state of love and bliss, and enjoying loving relationships with yourself, your partner, family and friends?
Simply, you disconnect from who you really are – pure love. You start to question and doubt your own divine magnificence. You disconnect from the energy of love that is all around you. It’s an abundant and unlimited cosmic commodity that is right there waiting for you to receive it, if you choose to make yourself open and ready to receive.
Experiencing and enjoying deep and lasting self-love and loving relationships is something you were born to do. It’s part of your amazing spiritual journey. Love is NOT something you have to earn or ‘work at’. Love flows naturally if you allow it to.
So what stops the love from flowing?
You create the blocks that stop you from living a life filled with the higher vibration of love. You put in place the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical restrictions that create an energetic dam, which diverts the flow of healthy of Qi, energy and love away from you. You choose to reject this blissful state of being that is your birth right.
So what are these blocks?
They are what I refer to as the misunderstandings, illusions or more powerfully the lies that your Yang Ego Mind convinces you are the truth. They are the powerfully poisonous beliefs that you subconsciously choose to live your life by and which separate you from the flow of love.
Let’s expose these lies right now…
LIE 1: ‘I’m not good enough’
Criticising yourself, comparing yourself negatively with others and believing you are anything less than the divine being you really are, is a lie.
Your Yang Ego Mind wants you to doubt yourself because it creates the fear that keeps you going round and round a emotional carousel as a misguided form of safety and self-protection that will never work.
Conversely, your Yin Spirit knows that you are a unique precious gift to humanity with an unlimited capacity to give and receive love.
Criticising or looking down on others to make yourself feel better is also a destructive habit of the Yang Ego Mind. Perversely this does not generate self-love but self-loathing. And yet this habit can be like a familiar comfort-blanket that smothers the love and life out of you.
Your Yin spirit understands Oneness and knows that you can never be better or worse than anyone else. Within this knowing there is deep love.
You already have enough. You are enough.
LIE 2: ‘I can’t cope’
Your Yang Ego Mind convinces you that you are ‘empty’, ‘needy’ and unable to cope with life in some way, so you work hard at earning positive strokes from others to reassure you and make you feel whole.
You give out effort and love in the hope that you can receive it back. This is profound manipulation of the natural way and flow of energy and love. Any relationship based on this lie is doomed to failure.
Equally, you can never find ever-lasting love, comfort, reassurance, safety and fulfillment from overeating, overspending, drinking, drugs, gambling etc.
Your Yin spirit knows that your everlasting source of love, strength, resourcefulness and spiritual nourishment is from your source, the Cosmos, not from other people or things. Your Yin Spirit knows that you can give love freely but that there should be no expectation or need for anything in return.
Reflect back on your life. You have always coped. You will always cope. There is nothing beyond your capabilities.
LIE 3: ‘I am unlovable – loving myself is selfish’
In your darkest of moments your Yang Ego Mind may convince you that you’re not deserving of love. It may even tell you that being hard on yourself is a way to better yourself, a kind of perverse negative motivator to self-improvement.
Your Yang Ego Mind may trick you into thinking that being kind, loving and nurturing to yourself, in your thoughts and how you talk to yourself (your self-talk) as well as your actions, is not important.
It will tell you that self-love is secondary in quality to love from others. It will convince you that taking time to nurture yourself is being selfish, that there’s not enough time, that it’s a waste of time, or that other people or things must take priority.
These are ALL illusions that divert the flow of Qi, energy and love from the Cosmos away from you.
When you reject the practice of self-love in this way it’s like putting up an umbrella that redirects the downpour of love from Source onto someone or something else. You’re sending out a vibration to the Cosmos that says: ‘I don’t want this love’, ‘I’m not deserving’, ‘let the love rain down on someone else’. And then you wonder why you feel empty?!
Your Yin Spirit knows that, through the practices of self-respect, self-nurturing and self-love, you open your heart and mind ready to receive boundless love and support from the Cosmos. This is the Law of Attraction and what Taoists teach as ‘Yi Tao Qi Tao’.
You no longer reject what is your birth right. You become an energetic conduit for love. The love then flows into and through you. You can give love freely, nurture and cultivate authentic loving relationships, and yet you will never be depleted or needy of love. You are now connected to Source.
Letting go of the lies – a meditation
Can you now begin to understand how even just one of these three toxic lies or beliefs can create an energetic shockwave like a tsunami that pushes against the natural flow of love in your life?
The ancient Taoist teaching of ‘Ch’ang’ – self-love and self-nurturing, exposes all of these Yang Mind Ego misunderstandings for what they are. It reveals how the seeds of self-doubt often originate in your childhood environment and how practicing self-love can positively invoke the Law of Attraction. I have produced an extended Wu Wei Wisdom audio teaching on this profound subject.
For now I’d like you to spend some time quietly meditating on this subject. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you know you won’t be disturbed for the next 10 minutes.
Pause, drop your shoulders and breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically. Allow your body to relax and just follow your breath. Allow your mind to calm and settle.
Have no expectations of ‘emptying the mind’, this is another Yang Ego Mind illusion. Allow thoughts to come and go like passing clouds, and instead just focus on the breath.
Breathe in with love, breathe out with gratitude.
Right now you are beginning the practice of self-love and self-nurturing simply by taking time to follow this teaching.
Now ask yourself:
Do I hold any Yang Ego Mind ‘lies’ within my thinking that are stopping the flow of love in my life?
Do I believe I am not good enough, unlovable, not worthy of love?
This is not the truth – LET IT GO!
Do I believe that comparing myself against others, criticising or finding fault in myself or others will make me love me more?
This is not the truth – LET IT GO!
Do I believe I need love and reassurance from others, or a better partner, income, house, car or wardrobe to make me feel whole or good about myself?
This is not the truth – LET IT GO!
Do I believe that being kind and loving towards myself, and treating myself with the respect I treat others with is time-wasting, self-indulgent and selfish?
This is not the truth – LET IT GO!
As you begin to question and reject these toxic Yang Ego Mind beliefs the energy of love will IMMEDIATELY begin to flow into your life. The Taoists teach this process as enabling the ‘cosmic helpers’.
Maintaining the flow of love
It’s likely that some of these beliefs may have been in place from your early childhood and so to fully and permanently root them out you’ll need to spend some time ensuring they don’t creep back into your subconscious thinking.
The good news is that now you are aware of these lies you can choose to reject them on a daily basis.
Here are few affirmations that will help you reconnect to love. You can use these as a starting point but feel free to create others that are more authentic and powerful to you.
- I choose to say ‘STOP! NO! This is not my truth!’, when I hear the negative self-talk of my Yang Ego Mind.
- I choose to mindfully weed out and reject all forms of criticism of myself and others.
- I choose to trust that my sustaining source of energy and love is not from others or from material things, but is from my spiritual connection to the Cosmos.
- I choose to practice self-love and self-nurturing every day as an unselfish act.
- I choose to align with my Yin Spirit nature.
- I choose a path of love not fear
Yi Tao Qi Tao
You can listen to my ‘Overcoming the 3 Lies that Block the Flow of Love’teaching and guided meditation here:
If the audio player above does not work you can also listen here.
About the Author
David James Lees is a spirituality and wellness author, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner, counsellor, hypnotherapist, NLP Master, and a Member of the British Acupuncture Council. David has a lifelong interest in Taoism, Taoist philosophy and Qigong, and was first taught meditation by Chinese Tibetan Buddhist monks when he was 16 years old, which helped him tackle a profound stutter. After qualifying as a TCM practitioner in the UK, David trained for a number of years as a Qigong instructor with Doctor Shen in London and Master Wan Su Jain in Beijing, and was later ordained as a Taoist Master in the sacred Wudang Mountains in China. Today, David is a trusted advisor and broadcaster on emotional health issues and alternative therapies in the UK. You can follow David on his blog: www.WuWeiWisdom.com, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Soundcloud. For the latest information on David’s therapies, classes, workshops and special events visit Peak House Practice.